God speaks to us through amazing ways

When God speak to us, He can do so in the least expected ways...

As I was lying lazily on the lazy river at the Wild Wild Wet and floating around leisurely, I laid back and looked at the clear blue sky, giving thanks to Him for the super good weather.

For a moment earlier, this would not have been possible.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I left the house, it was still pretty clear and I cheered a little in my heart. "Yes, finally, after the slate of bad weather for the week." However, my happiness was almost short-lived as I left the house, it began to drizzle. I thought nothing of the small drizzle. But alas, on the MRT from Eunos to Pasir Ris, the rain simply got heavier and heavier and my heart sank. The sky was just too gloomy for any swimming or fun. My concerned mum called me and asked me to turn back home. I was adamant and I told her that I believed the rain would stop. I whispered a prayer in my heart on the train, I said “ God, I pray for good weather so that I can go swimming at www, I really want to go. I do not want to make a wasted trip. No one can control the weather but you God, you who is in control of everything” I couldn't do anything else but pray and wait.

Just one stop away at Tampines, it was still raining heavily with no signs of relent.

Miraculously, when the train arrived at Pasir Ris, the weather was clear and not too sunny. Prefect prefect weather! Thank God!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I fixed my eyes on the blue sky while in my float, I thought to myself, wow how vast is the blue sky, God I am so tiny yet you are able to hear and see me. How amazing! The reason why I could enjoy the Sunday lazy on my float is because of You. You who controls everything.

I closed my eyes and relaxed myself, focusing my thoughts on Him. One of my favourite songs, Oceans by hillsong came to my mind.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown, where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep, my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed, and You won't start now

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior x 4

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours, and You are mine
I am Yours, and You are mine
I am Yours, and You are mine
I am Yours, and You are mine

It occurred to me how our life is so similar to a boat in the ocean, and here I am in a float in the lazy river (similar analogy) Just as how sometimes I feel that I have no control over my life (like how I simple didn't have any control of the float on the lazy river), I allow myself to drift aimlessly, letting the currents bring me wherever they want.

Yet I said a prayer to God then. I told God, "Take full control of my life, complete control, teach me to surrender all to you. I am nothing without you." In life, sometimes we feel that we do not have control of our lives and appear to have no sense of direction, but when God takes control and steers the wheel, He would be sure to steer us in the right direction and will not harm us for He wants the best for us.

At that moment as an action of faith, I decided to close by eyes and entrust things to Him. I had already gone several rounds of lazy river before and it can be a little tad annoying at times, where I would bump into other floats of the people around me or the wall surrounding the lazy river pool, impeding the flow of my own float. In the same way, I related this to the obstacles and struggles we face in life. However, if we completely trust God to take control of our lives, He would take care to make sure we do not come into hard bumps or if we do, He would cushion us to lessen the impact. His plans are always perfect, if only we learn how to trust Him. There was this part of the lazy river where there are showers of water falling on you and it can be a tad painful, I likened this to the storms and rainy seasons of our life. Yes indeed, Christian life is not a bed of roses, we would weather tough times along the way, but we must always keep our faith in Him that He will deliver. God is using those tough times to challenge our faith and to mold us into better individuals. Sometimes, in the least expected of ways, he is able to turn your struggles in life into a great blessing to you and others around you. There would always sunshine after the rain and a rainbow which is a sign of His covenant with Man.

And guess what, after lying there for about, 20 odd minutes, I did not bump into anything during the course :) God's hand was at work

The www float that I was in had two handles, one for left and the other for right hand. During the lazy river ride, I clung on to the handles.

                                         

Shortly after I completed the entire course with my eyes closed, I opened my eyes and I saw the right hand wordings on the float changed to God’s hands. I blinked my eyes in disbelief. Wow was I just imagining? Was God holding me by the right hand just now?

Wow, just wow. I was awe-struck.

A revelation from lazing at the lazy river. God is really amazing, He speaks through anything and everything.

To be honest, I was a little doubtful since it could be just an illusion or hallucination on my part. Been kinda stressful lately.

After dinner, my friend and I were shopping around Pasir Ris area and we walked into a shop which sold an assortment of things. As I was browsing around, this scroll caught my eye.

Notice the 3rd paragraph! I was amazed beyond words. A 2^nd time I was reminded that God was holding me by the right hand!

What could it mean?

When I went back, I went to check up verses that mentioned God’s right hand.

Isaiah 41:13

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

To my surprise again, my bible already had a little bookmark at the edge of the page where these two verses were. The 3^rd sign!

Indeed God was trying to speak to me and I wasn't imagining things! God wants to tell me not to be afraid of whatever that may come, for He will always be with me and holding me by the right hand :’)

Thank you Papa.

Excited to see what You are going to do with my life!

Fasting from FB and Instagram and focusing on the One that is the most important

This week, I embarked on a social media fasting from Facebook and Instagram as I find myself getting too engrossed with it sometimes even to the extent of neglecting God and spending less time with Him.

Yeah it may seem laughable to some of you but I struggle with obsession over social media.

I would find myself surfing aimlessly and checking almost obsessively even if there is nothing interesting going on, it feels like as though sometimes I do not have the control to stop. Perhaps I do it to fill the emptiness within. It was like you're so used to using it that you don't even notice that it is slowly sapping your life away.

I usually don't think much of my surfing habits on social media, until I saw my good friend fasting from it. She challenged me to do so as well and I thought, yeah why not?

I guess the reason why people find social media so attractive is because through it, we are able to get approval and gratification. We are concerned with how other people look upon us and worry if we are like- able in people's eyes. All those likes, comments, hearts etc. We want all these likes and hearts to reaffirm ourselves, our existence and our worth. Some people may not have this issue but I find myself falling into this endless abyss. 

Dear God, teach me not to be obsessed with all these superficial approvals from others. These are not what I should pursue after. Instead, let me aim to please you God and work for your affirmation. What good are affirmations from man alone? Help me to overcome my reliance on social media as well as this unhealthy obsession over seeking approval via social media. God, keep me accountable. 

Fasting helped me to focus on seeking approval from God, the One with High, whose opinion that matters most.

It was a little tough resisting the temptation of going on to the websites since I was used to logging on whenever I am free or travelling or in between breaks. By His strength, I managed to overcome it all. On the 5^th day of fasting, I found myself breaking away from the restraint of social media and I wasn't reliant on it.

I had extra time to do other things. I began to spend more time with God, I spent my time listening to sermons from Joel Osteen and meditating on His word through reading the bible. I felt closer to God and experienced more of Him. 

As what Joel Osteen said through his sermon, you are what you listen, watch, come into contact etc. If something is unhealthy or eating you away, cut it away from you. Fill your life with more of God. 

I was reminded of this verse Mark 9: 43-47

"If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell."

A reminder to self: more of You and less of me, God.

Showered with blessings

When I think back about my spiritual life and my walk with God, it hadn't been an easy one to be honest.

I have backslided, fallen from grace and distanced myself away from Him.

But still He remains faithful, His love never failing.

I have learnt to be thankful for every single thing in my life, big or small, for they happen not by chance or coincidence but by His grace and mercy.

Amidst the busy school work and all, it is always important to remind ourselves to put God first in our life. Sometimes it is not easy and we get distracted but He knows our needs and will provide. I have to say that God has been truly wonderful and working in my life these past few weeks especially. Feeling really really blessed :)

1. Passed my piano grade 8 exam

It has been a long arduous journey! 12 years, 3 teachers. I know of friends who complete grade 8 in less than 8 years and sometimes I do feel inferior with thoughts of giving up along the way. But somehow, I managed to press on until the grand old age of 21. My first piano teacher was not an honest one, I got to take my grade 2 exam only after 5 years learning under her. It impeded my growth and my parents decided that I should switch to a new piano teacher. My second piano teacher was introduced by a friend in church. I loved learning under her although she was strict and I soon progressed to grade 7 in less than 3 years. By a twist of fate, God took her back and relieved her of her suffering from cancer whilst I was learning under her. I was naturally devastated and I stopped learning for a few years. I picked up piano lessons again in university and the journey wasn't a smooth one since I was staying in hall and I did not have ample time to practice. God is indeed faithful. I wasn't confident of passing my grade 8 piano exam and even on the eve of the exam, I hasn't completely mastered what I was supposed to play for the exam. I was juggling the grade 8 piano exam with a couple of other commitments then. He saw me through and granted me the strength to persevere on even when the times seem tough. All glory goes to Him! I was really thrilled when I received the call from the music school to inform me that I passed! Thank God for no retakes :)

2. Passed my URECA

Passing URECA may not seem to be a big deal for most people but it was a rather pleasant surprise for me. To tell the truth, sometimes I question myself as to why I even picked up the module as I wasn't truly interested in the research field. Moreover, I wasn't exactly prepared for the long hours that I had to invest into URECA and I envied those friends who could enjoy and spend their holidays playing while I was stuck at the lab. Thank God the long hours spent paid off and He opened my eyes to show me that teaching was a right choice I made as I am not suited for lab work.

3.Got a hall for my third year

God answered my prayers for a hall though it wasn't exactly the hall I envisioned to be but still I am really really thankful! At least I don't have to travel 2 hours from the east to the west everyday and I can sleep in more :) Thank God for the opportunity to stay hall for 3 years!

4.University of Manchester for exchange

8 spots with a total of 18 people vying for it. Works out to less than 50% chance of getting it. I practically got a heart attack when I saw the statistics jumping up like crazy on the last day of application. I was really worried that I wouldn't get a spot but I prayed that if it is God's will for me to go to Manchester, I will go and if it isn't, He would arrange a better school for me. Thank God I secured a spot! Manchester here I come! :)

I applied alone without any friends but by His way, one of my close friends introduced me to her friends who are going to Manchester as well! Thank God for fellow Singaporeans who I can share a flat with :)

5. Relatively slack timetable

I thank God for a relatively less busy timetable compared to past semesters so that I can spend more time with my family and friends as well as to bless the people around me. I also got to spend more quiet time with Him and it has been truly awesome :)

The end of one journey is the road to something new :)

And so,

4 weeks of my attachment has come to an end. The end of an attachment is always a bittersweet affair.

Bitter; as I can’t bear to say farewell to a school I had grown to be fond of, and also of the wonderful people I have met whilst doing the attachment.

Sweet; as I have taken away memories that will stay with me for a lifetime.

I guess this warrants a mandatory post as sort of a closing for my experience thus far teaching at BNSS.

This may not be my first time teaching in a school formally but this experience has further convinced me that my decision to take up teaching as a career was right.

I really want to thank God for sending me angels in the form of wonderful colleagues, mentors and students during my attachment. I received so much encouragement from my mentors and fellow trainees and it is always inspiring to hear them share their stories and experiences. They are my source of motivation. The classes that I was assigned to were manageable and a joy to teach!  Praise God for that! I have heard stories from friends who have had not-so-pleasant experience at other schools but mine was very smooth-sailing and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It definitely is God’s grace that I had such a fulfilling journey. Even during trying times when I was juggling my piano exams, preparing for lessons for many classes and carrying out my school project, He constantly watched over me and guided me every single step of my journey. I barely slept a wink during my attachment since I had after school commitments at hand as well, so it was pretty draining at times (the long hours in school doesn’t help) but I was genuinely happy.  Thank God I survived! All in all I was blessed richly and abundantly during my 4 weeks attachment, learning and growing together with the students J

A colleague gave me a farewell card with a quote that I felt was really apt and meaningful so I thought I would share it here:

“God has not promised skies always blue, flower-strewn pathways all our lives through; God has not promised sun without rain, joy without sorrow, peace without pain. But God has promised strength for the day, rest for the labour, light for the way, grace for the trials, help from above, unfailing sympathy, undying love.”

Indeed, teaching is not an easy job.

Many people have struggled.

Many have burnt out.

Many have been disillusioned.

But as with every job, there will be its difficulties. However, it is all these trials and challenges that will help us to grow and eventually shaping us into the very people that God wants us to be. I came into teaching knowing that it wasn't going to be a bed of roses and I knew what I was in for. I have never regretted making that decision and signing my name on the bond that would determine my career path at least for the next 4 years. Teaching may be frustrating at times but the rewards are probably endless and boundless.

One of the incidents that struck me the most was when I got to interact one on one with an at-risk students from the normal technical class. He was caught smoking again for the umpteenth time and was about to be sent to a social worker. I was at a loss for words since it was an impromptu affair by the discipline mistress who wanted me to counsel the boy. I was worried that the boy would refuse to talk to me or act rebellious since he was pretty notorious in school for being rather defiant.

To my surprise, he was a pleasant boy when we interacted one-on-one. I guess when you separate rebellious boys away from their group; they become more vulnerable alone without the strength of a group. It is only when they are out of their comfort zone that you get to see their true selves. He opened up to me on his family background and life story. It was truly heart-wrenching to see a young boy like him going through so much. The lack of love at home led him to turn to gangs outside of school which provided him with companionship that he simply could not get at home. He stayed out late everyday as he felt that there was no point going back to an empty, void home.

I asked if he had any dreams of his own and he paused for a moment. He told me that he was good at a particular arcade game and pool and he wanted to be a professional at that. It is not a conventional aspiration that people would usually have but I encouraged him nonetheless that it is good to have dreams and to continue to dream big. It is only with dreams that we can do greater things. 

I ventured further, asking if he ever felt that what he did would upset his parents. He only replied “I don’t think they would care.” I saw the look on his face. It was that of a young boy who simply wanted someone to care for him. He just looked so forlorn. I was heartbroken. My voice quivered as I struggled to gain composure. I was the one who was supposed to counsel him and help him to see “the light” and yet at the moment, I felt that I had learnt so much from him, one who is so much younger than I was. I could not do anything much except to give him a squeeze on his hand to comfort him. I prayed that God would give him peace in his heart and that he will mend his ways.

It reminded me that as a teacher, one should never judge people based on their behaviour and the need to delve into why some kids behave in certain ways. Once you go beneath that and understand them through conversation, you discover that they are actually really wonderful and innocent kids. It just takes a little more effort to know your students and it could really mean a lot to them. As teachers, we do not merely impart knowledge that can be found in textbooks, but we influence and mould the children into people of substance and teach them values that will stay with them for a lifetime.

Thinking from a student's perspective

During my attachment, I got to teach two classes of Sec 1 academic students science.

Partly out of curiosity, I used two different methods: the first one being the whiteboard and visualizer while the other being the computer using the software prezi as well as showing videos related to the concept that I was about to teach. Both were on the topic of osmosis. It was pretty evident that the class which was taught using the whiteboard and visualizer got kinda bored after awhile and it was pretty hard to keep them engaged for long. Being secondary 1 students from the academic stream, there was a need to keep them engaged through hands-on activities or interesting nuggets to keep them awake. As expected, I got a totally different response from the other class. They were almost swooning over the visuals I used in my class which got them talking and listening more attentively during class. I even brought some water babies during class to illustrate the concept of osmosis. Some students even requested for more water babies to bring home so that they can do it on their own. One student got so excited that he shouted out to me when I walked past the class to tell me that his water babies had grown. It made me realize that teaching is not merely the delivering of content itself, you need to tailor it specially for your students so that they can understand it to the best of their own abilities. One may be good at delivering content but how much can you confidently say that you have successfully engaged your students and they have truly learnt from your lessons? Being in the age of technology, our students are indeed getting more IT-savvy. It is vital that we make full use of IT during lessons to engage them and enhance their learning. Teaching can no longer be done using the merely the traditional whiteboard style that our generation is used to.

One of the difficulties in teaching a normal academic class was getting them to translate what they have learnt into writing. Usually in between lessons and after lessons, I would give them a short test verbally and get them to answer questions on the spot related to what I had taught so far as a way to consolidate and reinforce their learning. They did not have any problems answering my questions and I was pleased as it showed that they understood the lesson. However, when the exact same questions were given to them in the form of structured questions on paper, they were evidently stumped by it. Honestly, I was rather taken aback by what I saw. If they could answer the questions verbally, then why were they stumped by the same questions in words? Weren't they the same? I guess it boiled down to their language ability ( ability to express their answer in words and proper sentences) It dawned upon me that there was nothing wrong in their science concepts but rather, they are often penalized based on their ability to write their answers in proper sentences. This is rather unfortunate. I asked myself: Are exams testing their knowledge of science or the use of their language? I guess it could be more beneficial for them if their examination could be in verbal form or some help in the form of helping words or filling in of blanks.

As adult teachers, we tend to take for granted certain concepts that seem so easy to us but may be difficult for the students. One important lesson that I took away from my mentor is that I should sit down and think through what are the things that the kids do not know, it could be in the form of new words, jargon that we may take for granted. Always always put yourself in the shoes of the students. Some students may be slower learners so we need to be aware of that and slow down pace for them to digest and understand.

Break down information into bite-size bits for them, repeat key words every now and then every if it means being very naggy. Some of these students from the academic stream are visual learner so they need to see concepts visually. Using real life analogies that are applicable to their daily lives would be extremely helpful in their learning and make it relevant to them!

Just some thoughts :)

Major pet peeves and anger management

While I am generally a patient person with a high tolerance level (or so i think!), there are some things that upsets me pretty much I admit. However, you won't see me flaring up though. If I do, then it must have been something really heinous. (haha) My friends think I do not get angry at all, which is entirely not true. I usually just keep it in and hold it as much as I can, which is not very healthy either in my opinion. One of the signs that I am angry or upset is when I turn unusually quiet. I try to sort out the negative thoughts and calm myself down. It helps that I pray and ask God to help me forgive the person or people in question. The anger doesn't go away instantly but you get a sense of calm that helps you to be more rational at dealing with the issue. Sometimes I feel tempted to stay angry at the person or people in question for long periods of time or ignore them, but it just doesn't seem right to me either. The problem is, I don't confront people and tell them straight in their face that I am angry with them, so they probably wouldn't even know. The whole cycle begins when they start committing the very same things that upsets me. Major sighs.

How do you usually deal with your anger? Do you keep it in or let it out?

I am sure everyone has their major pet peeves that will trigger their anger alarm off. It will definitely vary from person to person. But for me, these are some of the things that I can't really tolerate.

WARNING: long-winded post ahead

Tardiness

One of the most major pet peeves I have is people being late. Not to say I have never been late before.

I am pretty sure this is something everyone would have experienced at some point of their lives. Say, you organize an outing and set the meeting time at 6pm. You set out all enthusiastic and get yourself ready for the meetup. Being a punctual person, you would actually plan to reach the place at least 5-10 minutes early. I do know of some people who would actually reach half an hour early to make sure that they will not be late. That is a very commendable behaviour that I rarely see in Singaporeans nowadays, sad to say. However, as the clock ticks 6pm, you do not see any of your friends arriving. Slowly but surely, the texts start trickling in. It goes like this "Hey sorry I will be very late/late". It suddenly dawns upon you that you are the only one who is there and punctual while all your friends will be late. At this point of time, my mood will be badly affected when I was looking forward to the outing. I know it is unrealistic to expect people to arrive early or on the dot since it is so ingrained in our culture to be late. I do not mind waiting for 10-15 minutes, but anything more than 30 minutes is unacceptable. Also, if it happens once or twice, it is totally fine but if it happens all the time, then it definitely reveals how much importance a person accords to the meeting.

                                  #truestory

To me, being punctual is showing basic respect to others. It also reveals your level of integrity when you are constantly tardy. If you tell someone that you will meet them at a certain agreed time, you have essentially made them a promise. By being late, you have essentially broken that promise as well. Overtime, it will definitely put a strain on the relationship. Being late is a selfish act in itself, for it puts your needs above others. You would want extra time to do some of the things you like but in gaining that amount of time, you deprive the other party of his/her time when he/she could have been doing something useful as well. Thus being late is a form of stealing, except the currency is time which cannot be earned back. You might not know the sacrifices someone has made in order to meet you on time. Therefore, always value other people's time as you would to your own. 

I agree that I may not be the most punctual person in the world but I do make it a point to manage my time well and set off early most of the time. This is something that I have been working on and I am glad to say that I am very rarely late.

Late text replies

Okay this depends on the type and nature of text messages. 

As a rough estimate, as long as you do not take more than 12 hours, it should be fine most of the time unless it's really really urgent. That being said, please do not reply late on purpose! :p

I would expect a quick or almost instant reply if it's just an answer to a simple question, like " Are you going for so-and-so event? Do you have this-and-this? " or if the conversation has been relatively flowing to and forth. Otherwise, I usually give this type of messages up to a few hours since the receiver may not have seen it or is busy. I usually reply very quickly, almost instantly if I have nothing much at hand, as some of my friends would attest. I don't like to keep people waiting as it might be urgent. If I do reply you late, it means that I am really busy.

The second type of messages is those whereby there is no specific issue involved, mostly just random chit-chatting. It really depends on the other party's interest and involvement. I am kinda huge on texting I admit. If the content is really interesting and the pace of replies are pretty constant and quick, I usually reciprocate and reply quickly as well. So it would kinda upset me when the other party leaves me hanging there without a reply for several hours or even up to a day when the conversation seems to be going well and smooth. I understand that people may be busy with other commitments but I think it is basic courtesy to inform the other party that you can't reply at the moment with a simple "ttyl (talk to you later)"? Wouldn't that be better? I don't really like it when someone leaves me hanging cold. I would feel that it's either the other party is just not interested anymore or simply couldn't be bothered. I have actually experienced this situation several times before. It was an interesting and engaging conversation initially but after awhile I could sense that the other party replied later and later often. I didn't take it to heart and let it go, replied as swiftly as I usually do. It became tiring and some sort of frustrating because of the waiting time. By then, I simply just wasn't interested in keeping up the pace anymore either.

Okay maybe I am thinking too much, but you sorta get the idea.


Some other pet peeves (minor): 

-people who hog the walkway by walking in the middle and very slowly or walking in groups slowly, seemingly unaware that there are other people who are rushing for time.

-people who don't keep to their promises and don't mean what they say.

-people who suggest doing a certain activity and yet not carry it out, but wait for others to do the organizing. (in the end, no one will do it)

I apologise if this seems like a very long complain post airing my grouses and grievances, feel free to exit the blog and continue with whatever you were doing earlier.

Well feel free to share your pet peeves with me! You might just have the same ones as me ;)

Drifting apart

In life, people come and people go. It is inevitable that people do drift apart. It might not be intentional or anything but sometimes life's like that. We move on. We have our own lives to lead, we meet new people, we get busy with work, we go to different schools, we hardly meet. The act of drifting apart could be really subtle, so subtle that you and the other party may not even notice it, which makes it the more dangerous. 

In any friendship/relationship, it takes the effort of both parties to maintain it. If only one party is putting in the effort, eventually he/she will get tired, frustrated and eventually give up trying. In a relationship/friendship, there is always someone who is putting in more effort than the other, it's hard to avoid this imbalance.

We tend to take things for granted, thinking that it will always be there. 

For example, It could just be the simple act of texting.

In the beginning stages, both parties find texting refreshing and new, they text back and forth several times in a day fairly quickly. It is thrilling and sets your heart thumping, you enjoy it and you look forward to the texts. All is good until one party gets busy, the reply becomes slower. You start to get busy as well but you would still reply as quickly as you can because it means so much to you. Sometimes you wonder if the other pary would do the same. The reality is you might be the only one who cares so much about it. You make the other party your priority but turns out you might only be an option to him/her. You're fine with waiting but as time goes by, the waiting becomes tormenting. You try and comfort yourself that the occasional late reply is probably not intentional. You try to validate the other party's reasons for replying late. As time goes by, the late replies become more and more frequent. In order not to seem too eager, you begin to tone down as well.There is still some texts exchange but it is getting painfully fewer. It falls into a vicious cycle and becomes a dangerous habit, where it just doesn't seem important to reply quickly anymore.You try all means and ways to salvage it, to restore it to when it was before. The reality is, once it's gone, it is never ever going to be the same again.

You start to wonder whether it is worth the effort to keep it up. The sad reality could be that the other party is just not interested anymore but you didn't realise it any sooner. You invested your time and feelings into maintaining this relationship/friendship but sometimes things just don't work out. The emotional turmoil that come with it wears you out. 

Before you know it, there comes the cooling off period. Part of you aches for things to go back to normal. But deep down in your heart, you know that it is just not possible anymore. You miss the old times. You struggle to move on. It is not easy, but you do. Once you get pass it, nothing is ever going to daunt you again. It has made you a more mature and wiser person.


Sometimes I wonder how different things would be if people tried harder or didn't stop trying.

Why teach?

Life has been getting really hectic nowadays, but mostly fulfilling :)

Thank God for opportunity to take up so many things. It is really tiring, I admit I crash and collapse on the bed every single day, but I really want to give thanks to God for letting me learn so much each and every day.

I haven't had much time to practice for my piano mock exam with all my commitments and all but with God's grace, I was able to pass it! I really expected myself to fail actually, so I was really taken by surprise that I managed to pass.

I recently embarked on a teaching internship and it has really been a humbling experience for me. It was an eye-opener for me and allowed me to gain much insight into the education sector. I never knew so much went into the workings of the school. The school is like one huge machinery with so many parts working and functioning together, not just the students and teachers, but so many other support officers who make it possible. I was posted to a neighborhood school and frankly I didn't really have a good impression of the school. However, I was proved to be wrong after spending a few days there. I got to bake muffins with some at-risk kids and interacted with them. Often, we tend to judge people based on their behavior but we never think about why exactly do they behave that way? There are many underlying issues that cause people to act and behave like the way they are. It could be family issues, medical conditions or hardship. The kids go through things that we cannot imagine. Once you go beneath that and understand them more through conversation, you discover that they are actually really wonderful and innocent kids. My heart goes out to them. They're really one of the strongest people I know.

Often, people ask me, why do I go into teaching? There were many people who discouraged me, citing long hours and tough work. I have also heard of stories of teachers who get burnt out. But at the end of the day, I guess every single job has its own difficulties. For me, I have always loved working with young people and enjoyed the satisfaction that came with teaching when people finally understands a certain concept, so teaching was a natural calling. Most of all, as cliche as it may sounds, I wanted to make a difference in the lives of the students that cross my path. I truly believe that it was God's will for me to be a teacher. He wanted me to mold students into characters of substance, to touch their lives in ways unimaginable. Teaching is an exciting profession, not a single day is the same which makes it really challenging and stimulating at the same time. I have had many inspiring and dedicated teachers in the past, which also influenced my decision in becoming a teacher. Teaching is indeed a noble profession and I sincerely salute all the teachers.

I guess those who enter the teaching service with high hopes might be disillusioned when they do not achieve what they set out to do. For me, I might not be able to help all my students, but I do hope I can at least help one. At least it did make a difference in his/her life. I do not know if I will be able to be a good teacher in the future, but I hope that at some point of my career one or another I would have been able to inspire one student to be a teacher too. I think it is always heartwarming to see your own students becoming teachers so that they can pass the beacon of knowledge on. :)

I will leave this post with some food for thought. Presenting to you the starfish story :)