Drifting apart

In life, people come and people go. It is inevitable that people do drift apart. It might not be intentional or anything but sometimes life's like that. We move on. We have our own lives to lead, we meet new people, we get busy with work, we go to different schools, we hardly meet. The act of drifting apart could be really subtle, so subtle that you and the other party may not even notice it, which makes it the more dangerous. 

In any friendship/relationship, it takes the effort of both parties to maintain it. If only one party is putting in the effort, eventually he/she will get tired, frustrated and eventually give up trying. In a relationship/friendship, there is always someone who is putting in more effort than the other, it's hard to avoid this imbalance.

We tend to take things for granted, thinking that it will always be there. 

For example, It could just be the simple act of texting.

In the beginning stages, both parties find texting refreshing and new, they text back and forth several times in a day fairly quickly. It is thrilling and sets your heart thumping, you enjoy it and you look forward to the texts. All is good until one party gets busy, the reply becomes slower. You start to get busy as well but you would still reply as quickly as you can because it means so much to you. Sometimes you wonder if the other pary would do the same. The reality is you might be the only one who cares so much about it. You make the other party your priority but turns out you might only be an option to him/her. You're fine with waiting but as time goes by, the waiting becomes tormenting. You try and comfort yourself that the occasional late reply is probably not intentional. You try to validate the other party's reasons for replying late. As time goes by, the late replies become more and more frequent. In order not to seem too eager, you begin to tone down as well.There is still some texts exchange but it is getting painfully fewer. It falls into a vicious cycle and becomes a dangerous habit, where it just doesn't seem important to reply quickly anymore.You try all means and ways to salvage it, to restore it to when it was before. The reality is, once it's gone, it is never ever going to be the same again.

You start to wonder whether it is worth the effort to keep it up. The sad reality could be that the other party is just not interested anymore but you didn't realise it any sooner. You invested your time and feelings into maintaining this relationship/friendship but sometimes things just don't work out. The emotional turmoil that come with it wears you out. 

Before you know it, there comes the cooling off period. Part of you aches for things to go back to normal. But deep down in your heart, you know that it is just not possible anymore. You miss the old times. You struggle to move on. It is not easy, but you do. Once you get pass it, nothing is ever going to daunt you again. It has made you a more mature and wiser person.


Sometimes I wonder how different things would be if people tried harder or didn't stop trying.