Major pet peeves and anger management

While I am generally a patient person with a high tolerance level (or so i think!), there are some things that upsets me pretty much I admit. However, you won't see me flaring up though. If I do, then it must have been something really heinous. (haha) My friends think I do not get angry at all, which is entirely not true. I usually just keep it in and hold it as much as I can, which is not very healthy either in my opinion. One of the signs that I am angry or upset is when I turn unusually quiet. I try to sort out the negative thoughts and calm myself down. It helps that I pray and ask God to help me forgive the person or people in question. The anger doesn't go away instantly but you get a sense of calm that helps you to be more rational at dealing with the issue. Sometimes I feel tempted to stay angry at the person or people in question for long periods of time or ignore them, but it just doesn't seem right to me either. The problem is, I don't confront people and tell them straight in their face that I am angry with them, so they probably wouldn't even know. The whole cycle begins when they start committing the very same things that upsets me. Major sighs.

How do you usually deal with your anger? Do you keep it in or let it out?

I am sure everyone has their major pet peeves that will trigger their anger alarm off. It will definitely vary from person to person. But for me, these are some of the things that I can't really tolerate.

WARNING: long-winded post ahead

Tardiness

One of the most major pet peeves I have is people being late. Not to say I have never been late before.

I am pretty sure this is something everyone would have experienced at some point of their lives. Say, you organize an outing and set the meeting time at 6pm. You set out all enthusiastic and get yourself ready for the meetup. Being a punctual person, you would actually plan to reach the place at least 5-10 minutes early. I do know of some people who would actually reach half an hour early to make sure that they will not be late. That is a very commendable behaviour that I rarely see in Singaporeans nowadays, sad to say. However, as the clock ticks 6pm, you do not see any of your friends arriving. Slowly but surely, the texts start trickling in. It goes like this "Hey sorry I will be very late/late". It suddenly dawns upon you that you are the only one who is there and punctual while all your friends will be late. At this point of time, my mood will be badly affected when I was looking forward to the outing. I know it is unrealistic to expect people to arrive early or on the dot since it is so ingrained in our culture to be late. I do not mind waiting for 10-15 minutes, but anything more than 30 minutes is unacceptable. Also, if it happens once or twice, it is totally fine but if it happens all the time, then it definitely reveals how much importance a person accords to the meeting.

                                  #truestory

To me, being punctual is showing basic respect to others. It also reveals your level of integrity when you are constantly tardy. If you tell someone that you will meet them at a certain agreed time, you have essentially made them a promise. By being late, you have essentially broken that promise as well. Overtime, it will definitely put a strain on the relationship. Being late is a selfish act in itself, for it puts your needs above others. You would want extra time to do some of the things you like but in gaining that amount of time, you deprive the other party of his/her time when he/she could have been doing something useful as well. Thus being late is a form of stealing, except the currency is time which cannot be earned back. You might not know the sacrifices someone has made in order to meet you on time. Therefore, always value other people's time as you would to your own. 

I agree that I may not be the most punctual person in the world but I do make it a point to manage my time well and set off early most of the time. This is something that I have been working on and I am glad to say that I am very rarely late.

Late text replies

Okay this depends on the type and nature of text messages. 

As a rough estimate, as long as you do not take more than 12 hours, it should be fine most of the time unless it's really really urgent. That being said, please do not reply late on purpose! :p

I would expect a quick or almost instant reply if it's just an answer to a simple question, like " Are you going for so-and-so event? Do you have this-and-this? " or if the conversation has been relatively flowing to and forth. Otherwise, I usually give this type of messages up to a few hours since the receiver may not have seen it or is busy. I usually reply very quickly, almost instantly if I have nothing much at hand, as some of my friends would attest. I don't like to keep people waiting as it might be urgent. If I do reply you late, it means that I am really busy.

The second type of messages is those whereby there is no specific issue involved, mostly just random chit-chatting. It really depends on the other party's interest and involvement. I am kinda huge on texting I admit. If the content is really interesting and the pace of replies are pretty constant and quick, I usually reciprocate and reply quickly as well. So it would kinda upset me when the other party leaves me hanging there without a reply for several hours or even up to a day when the conversation seems to be going well and smooth. I understand that people may be busy with other commitments but I think it is basic courtesy to inform the other party that you can't reply at the moment with a simple "ttyl (talk to you later)"? Wouldn't that be better? I don't really like it when someone leaves me hanging cold. I would feel that it's either the other party is just not interested anymore or simply couldn't be bothered. I have actually experienced this situation several times before. It was an interesting and engaging conversation initially but after awhile I could sense that the other party replied later and later often. I didn't take it to heart and let it go, replied as swiftly as I usually do. It became tiring and some sort of frustrating because of the waiting time. By then, I simply just wasn't interested in keeping up the pace anymore either.

Okay maybe I am thinking too much, but you sorta get the idea.


Some other pet peeves (minor): 

-people who hog the walkway by walking in the middle and very slowly or walking in groups slowly, seemingly unaware that there are other people who are rushing for time.

-people who don't keep to their promises and don't mean what they say.

-people who suggest doing a certain activity and yet not carry it out, but wait for others to do the organizing. (in the end, no one will do it)

I apologise if this seems like a very long complain post airing my grouses and grievances, feel free to exit the blog and continue with whatever you were doing earlier.

Well feel free to share your pet peeves with me! You might just have the same ones as me ;)